Zlatan Says

 
 

He is God.  He said so himself.


How to shake off Stephane Henchoz:

"First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.”


Mind your own business:

Reporter: “You’ve got some scars on your face, Zlatan. What has happened?”

Zlatan: “Well…I don’t know…you’ll have to ask your wife about that”


After being criticised by John Carew:

“What Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange.”


On refusing a trial at Arsenal:

“Arsene Wenger asked me to have a trial with Arsenal when I was 17. I turned it down. Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.”


After being asked by a female reporter about a photo of him and Gerard Pique hugging:

“Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I’ll show you who’s gay!”


On having one too many celebrating Juventus' 2005 title win:

“It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.”


What Zlatan bought his wife for her birthday:

”Nothing, she already has Zlatan.”


The wisdom of Pep Guardiola:

“Then Guardiola started his philosopher thing. I was barely listening. Why would I? It was advanced bullshit about blood, sweat and tears, that kind of stuff.”


On the enemy:

"Guardiola was staring at me and I lost it. I thought 'there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!'. I yelled to him: 'You have no balls!' and probably worse things than that."


On being misused at Barca:

"You bought a Ferrari but you drive it like a Fiat"


On the (other) Special One:

"Jose Mourinho is a big star ... he's cool. The first time he met (my wife) he whispered to her: 'Helena you have only one mission. Feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy"' The guy says what he wants. I like him."


Pep vs Jose:

“Mourinho is Guardiola’s opposite. If Mourinho brightens up the room, Guardiola pulls down the curtains and I guessed that Guardiola now tried to measure himself with him.”


Driving Barca crazy:

“At Barca, players were banned from driving their sports cars to training. I thought this was ridiculous – it was no one’s business what car I drive – so in April, before a match with Almeria, I drove my Ferrari Enzo to work. It caused a scene.”


On Mario Balotelli's firework incident:

“I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.”


Househunting with Zlatan:

"We are looking for an apartment (in Paris), if we do not find anything, then we will just buy a hotel."



The above text was taken from Mirror.co.uk http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/zlatan-ibrahimovic-quotes-best-outspoken-2331210#ixzz2oi70RWuy

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